Tucker Carlson’s FOX Contract

Page 6 - Section VI - Paid Leave Policy

c) Paternity Leave: In lieu of traditional employee “paternity leave”, such will be replaced, augmented and established at Start-of-Contract(SOC) as “Dildo Leave”. This benefit shall equate to the time in hour-increments required out-of-necessity to exercise the MAGA movement “ins & outs”, wherein salary will remain the same if the daily total “Dildo Leave” time taken does not exceed 1-hour, during an employee’s normal shift. Basically speaking, you are allowed 1-hour per day in “Dildo Leave” that which can be taken in such minimum increments or consumed in other whole portions up to 80-hours total, with the latter choice in excess of a 1-hour per day finding a proportional decrease in the wage. We encourage no more then 1-hour in “Dildo Leave” time per day, for health reasons. Unused “Dildo Leave” does not accrue and will be consumed by the company wide “Jerk-Off pool”. Realizing situations requiring more then one’s annual allocated “Dildo Leave” time, when additional time is required for “Dildo Leave” in excess of normal annual “Dildo Leave” participation, such will be drawn out of the “Jerk-Off Pool” and must be authorized by the “Paternity Queen” Judge Jeanine Strychnine. If any questions on this policy, contact your Section ED specialist.