BIG PHONY TITS NEWS - E2R1

BIG PHONY TITS NEWS ALERT
 – Thursday December 14, 2017

According to officials from Kaspersky Lab, the Alabama Senate race saw 22819 votes that went to a write-in candidate named “SASSY”. The Roy Moore campaign chaircursing agent, a Mr. Orange Snatch, has sent a recount request to the State Board of Elections asking not only for a recount, but trying to convince the majority Conservative Board that those “SASSY” votes belong to Ol’ Roy. That would then give the “Bigot Party” an edge up and it could reverse things for Mr. Jones’ lovely daughter, in favor of Roy-Boy-Toy “Everybody Owns A JEW” Moore. See, in Alabama there exists some strange laws, sometimes called the “Blue Hound Ball Sucking”, unanimously passed when Deliverance was popular. Accordingly, opined from those familiar with Gomer Conway’s back-woods pile defecation following the voter defection for a horse instead of a “Pervert”, the fact that a husband & wife team can run for any office and if the combined votes find a majority, they win and can share duties. So, the problem that Roy faces is the fact that “SASSY” is the “perverted” judge's horse, not his wife. But in Alabama, it is man then horse before wife. The reason the wife gets the horse crap rake as a wedding gift, duty calls. This is a convincing argument and the reason that Roy refuses to concede the election, hoping for a late inning erection from LASSIE. This election could be turned around, stay tuned. Even though “bestiality” is frowned upon, it is acceptable for “old grey mares” in “Bama” – the land of moor pedophiles and by judging, a zoophile philosophy.

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BIG PHONY TITS NEWS UPDATE

According to the House & Senate combined COVFEFE Castration Complex “Tax Reform”, the House gets its “Tic” and the Senate its “Tac”, so all registered republicans will receive a bonus, a package of Tic-Tac as a Christmas gift – proof tested by a MORON. Remember, this miracle gem promises a “Whoah. Yes. Whoah. Look at you. You are a pussy. Maybe it's a different one. Yeah that's her with the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful... I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.” What is not clear, was the proof test by the MORON anally or orally administered over No Coke…Pepsi douche while watching the remake of, Deliverance. BPTN tested the Moron’s “tweets” through a Phineas J. Whoopee text-to-audio filter and every damn presidential outburst sings out: “Squeal Like a Pig”.

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BIG PHONY TITS NEWS Weather Report

A massive high-pressure atmospheric zone is consuming ¾ of the United States. It is causing an un-heard of surprise, a negative Dew Point. Look, about 1 in a million understand by definition a normal “positive” dew point, so this “negative” is time consuming. Which means the surrounding air will start to deprive our skin of moisture. Yes, being negative and trying to assume stability, it will start to suck us dry, just like the GOP “Tic-Tac Tax Reform” about to anal rape the middle-class. This sucking, it will lead to massive dandruff and dry skin conditions and being an Act-of-God, not covered by the “Reform” and our streets will soon be covered with, well dead skin akin to a snow fall. And then it will become a feeding frenzy for ants, and the bugs will take over.

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From the Grope Underground

COVFEFE: Tillerson Approval “UP”

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(Gomer Kellyanne Conway, Congressional Pervert Poster Boy from Alabama)

END – Edition 2-R1