Rush To Judgment

Too bad the World Series wasn’t forever everlasting, as with a one-night stand break from “Take me out to the ballgame”, all we hear about is some off the wall political election with zero meaning taking place somewhere, like it is a national erection time of importance. And why is it that all the meaningful commercials, like for Sam Adams, are sidelined for crap time advertisement - like Viagra. Politics and extend stuff, seems to go hand and hand! I have a hat and it reads, “NO Viagra”, as I stay healthy, eat and drink right so need not worry about this ED outbreak. And when Rush, Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin infiltrate the silence, maybe it is a matter of impotence. Don’t they have anything better to do then continuously involve themselves in everybody else’s business? Can’t people think for themselves anymore? When a guy like Rush or a goon like Ann and another guy like Sarah have such an influence, we are doomed as a free thinking society. Hey, it is your right and your obligation to think free! If you listen to the goons and sigh instead of turning out gut wrenching laughter over their pathetic crap opinions, then you are giving away your right – that laughter is the best medicine. And since I was on the baseball bandwagon, I felt disenfranchised by this pathetic coverage of something with zero interest all geared towards a grading of Obama’s popularity. Hey, whether you like not to admit it, Obama left the popularity thing at the gate! He’s a president, something this country has been missing since the Carter & Reagan era. So give us a break! I bet if the Yankees loose, Obama will be to blame. I bet if the Phillies loose, it will be Obama to blame. So after consuming a few Sam Adams’ in anticipation of the full moon, I felt Patriotic and signed Rush Limbaugh up to the DCSS. The latter is some fan club of the Democrats. For some reason, when I tried to place “Mr.” in the name title, it kept rejecting that preference and defaulting back to “Madman”. So I hit the “Send” button. Now I keep getting these threats from GCI – my local web provider and heavily conceded towards the Alaskan GOP – informing that I have been targeted as a “Spammer” and my account is about to be launched into the “black hole” void of the 1st Amendment – a.k.a. the republican cesspool. I thought maybe an apology was in order to get me off the hook. “Dear Rush, I didn’t mean to address you as Madman Rush Limbaugh, but that was all the DCSS on-line application would accept. Regardless, I hope you enjoy the newsletter from your friends and countrymen over at the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. Sincerely” Wow, no sooner had my finger released the “SEND”, there came a reply - from Rush. I thought maybe it was another scalding, for using the word “countrymen”. But it was an invite to his very own fan club; something called “EL Musho”. I opened the attachment, thinking it was a reliable and authentic file, guess what! Now my desktop background is a scene of random pictures of Rush jumping around like he has ants in his pants. And every so often, his voice comes from out of nowhere, that pathetic huffing and puffing like chatter that sounds like regurgitated puke is next to be launched. Look out! The laptop actually vibrates, but that may be something else going on! I don’t know about you, but listening to this guy nauseates the hell out of decency. Now several attempts to rid my system of this joke went without avail. Good thing I have a backup. But that didn’t work either and my computer is un-useable. I guess the only thing left too do is bring the laptop to the shooting range, use it for target practice. Hey Sarah, how about a bulls-eye on that clown? But not ready to give up quite yet as it is cold outside and not really shooting weather and Sarah is taking over for Carmen Sandiego in “Where In the World….” So I thought, maybe Ann Coulter would like to become a member of the DCSS. Damn, same thing, as every-time I tried to enter “Miss” under the name title, it defaulted to “Madmamma”. Here goes the send button. And here comes that threat again from my web provider! This time it was sent with an attachment. Oh NO, now Ann is climbing all over my desktop. So not only do I have to contend with Rush’s loud explosive diarrhea, but Ann’s also at the same time in competition! What a combination. Hey, what about a ménage et trios? So here goes Sarah’s application to the DCSS. Once again, that title bar seems to have a mind of its own! It wouldn’t accept anything but “Witch”, and I thought that title was reserved for Meg! Wow, another threat from my web provider. May as well open the attachment, as it really can’t hurt anything beyond being Rushed! Wow, I have a threesome on my desktop. Modern technology, coming to a computer near you! Rush, Ann and Sarah, all trying to say it their way. They are all talking at the same time and have indeed found mankind a definition of “Chaos” theory. In fact, when yacking away in harmony, I hear something very interesting, like a subliminal message: “The lunatics are coming, the lunatics are coming”, and it sounded like Paul Revere. Done with enough laughs, time has come to throw my laptop out in the trash. At least I have a few Sam’s to enjoy, no computer and a simple life. Wow, the American Dream is alive and well! Later that day, I hear the neighbor kids laughing, they are all huddled up out back to what appears to be the Rush trashed computer, still working, as the battery was still alive and well. I hear one kid mention that the “fat” guy was a porn star! Sorry kids, it isn’t porn! See, kids associate Rush with porn! Why? Because when we sit down and try to eat a decent family diner, we are overwhelmed with “extend” commercials and little kids asking daddy, “what is ED” at the same time we realize that Rush likes his Viagra and as far as Ann and Sarah, please give the human society a break and jump into that “black hole”, and let freedom ring once again as your ways and means are indeed a trend to derelict that right of individuality, all for a paycheck and a chance at stardom. Hey, Rush, Ann and Sarah, just think where you’d be without the FOX! Hey, the computer’s battery is beginning to fade, so is Rush, but Ann and Sarah are still with it, and the laptop is still vibrating!