Budweiser, Congress & Turds

Wow! The price of crude oil continuous to creep upwards, erasing away the American Dream. Doesn’t FEMA provide erosion relief! How do I apply? And everything in some way or another is tied to the “black gold”, from cereal to toilet paper. And where in hell does the GOP get the idea it can blame Obama on the price increases? It's called supply and demand IDIOTS of the wrong-way party! We once believed in a nest-egg, that reality cushion was cracked worthless by the Bush dysentery dynasty and his heart of a robot sidekick. Talk about cold. Why is Dick still a free man? This guy defines a hairball! And George is having a tough time getting speaking engagements, except at 4-H gatherings over in California’s agricultural Mecca. But little kids think he's a pervert, so showings are slim. What a waste of history, with Bush, as we are still feeling the pain of his presidency – from falsehood wars to income tax harassment policies. Look, that place in Texas that was missing an idiot for so long, they’re still celebrating his homecoming. So today we “True Americans” suffer with a penny pinching economy and instead of helping out the micro-breweries, a truly essential like business that is truly the American spirit embracing the “entrepreneurship” mentality, with less money in my wallet it means resorting back to crappy tasting piss-ant bear, like Budweiser. Honestly, when young and desperate and spending Friday nights out at the graveyard under-age bar, feeding Budweiser to ants seemed to be this skunk cabbage smelling missing a brew-master waste’s only interest. Inebriated ants, what a concept. Remember, they consume 3-times their weight, just like a member of Congress, that spends 3-times as much time with “political intelligence” consultants then time spent protecting his constituency’s right to life, liberty and that pursuit of happiness! See, even though Bud was never a good thirst quencher, there came a following, a dedicated following, until we found out that John McCain’s campaign of “I am a black prisoner” was funded by DUIs. John’s wife is the Budweiser distribution queen who makes millions, so guess who wears the pants? Yes, the Clydesdale abortion in a can. In a nutshell, there comes more flavor from the suds leaching out cancer causing aluminum fragments from the cheap cans they package this stuff in then from the copper kettles meant for genuine brewing! What secret recipe, water is water! Isn’t there a law against false advertisement? OK, it’s the King of “hairball” beers – regurgitated something. And somebody must pay for those expensive sidearm commercials. The rent from attention getting humor sure isn’t helping out in the flavor category, maybe instead of the 60-second stage time fantasy the wasted money should go into the suds! Hire a brew-master instead of a PR firm! Look, it is just like Congress again, missing a leader! In fact, from now on how about a House Speaker prerequisite requirement of professional experience as a “brew-master”? When things get rough in session, bring out the kegs, get blasted, then let the fighting begin. And those commercials by GE, something about it’s the GE gas turbines that are generating the electricity that keeps the Bud cold, maybe we need a brown out! Even when cold it’s not worth the effort, to consume something just to enjoy a good piss on the side of the road. And yes, that is all we get from Congress these days, pissed on! Like an age old saying and still words of advice to Congress: “Don't piss down my back and tell me it's rain”!  Thanks Josey Wales. Wow, what a rage detour! Maybe it’s time to stop drinking. But oil will continue to creep higher and higher, as there is a safety net built into the price of gasoline. Sure enough, like the minimum wage racketeering, the CIM - a.k.a. Congress of Inept Monkeys - has determined that the price of motor gasoline, the price that will be tolerated by the American consumers before we “Strike” for conscious sake, that limit rests at a mind-boggling $5.20 per gallon. Last week, the average gasoline price was $3.51, so look to see gasoline prices escalate towards this goal at the same time crude oil begs for more worth, sometime in the near-by future – this summer. See, when “Big Oil was summoned to a Congressional hearing back some time ago, when Nancy Pelosi came to the chamber equipped with whips & chains and was about to get to the bottom of humongous refining profits, she was demoted by a more powerful and senior crook, namely Alaska’s Ted Stevens. Yes, Ted made it clear and convincing that the CEO gang from the major oil companies, like EXXON, well they wouldn’t be under oath this hearing. So for several hours, they said nothing and I am sure the only thing that was heard during this opportunity is that of pens writing “war-chest” checks while the “political intelligent” posse that sat behind this peanut gallery gang, they sat around picking their noses and blowing spit-balls at each-other – a.k.a. corporate attorneys. Yes, Congress had the opportunity to reign in the reasons behind excessive corporate profits, but instead of a Congressional hearing, it was just another time for Big Business to celebrate, as the working class lost out due to representation hijacked. Look, Ted Stevens is by far the worst member ever that swore an oath to uphold the Constitution, then reneged that promise. Frank MurKowski was the second worst ever and Don Young will end up in the top three. How come Alaska has such crooked representation that has so much influence on the rest of the Congress? Must be the “Frontier Spirit” or the fact that Don maintains an arsenal at his office and is a Big Bribe Guide for K Street fans. So watch for crude oil to climb and climb, until that “Safety Net” limit is reached, then we will see some bailouts, in the form of tax incentives. Just so “Big Oil” CEO wives can take away more and more of our hard earned loot, for breast implants and botox treatments, not for themselves, for now they think it is proper for their pet poodles, yes botox for animals is vogue. The real animals appear to be the humanoids with a little too much loot. Maybe we have an income tax equality problem here in America? Now this gasoline price ceiling is top secret, the government approved “Safety Net”, but it is what you are already paying for if you run low on gas in a national park. But Uncle Sam is doing everything it can to inseminate artificially the economy. In our national parks, you can commit a crime against the Constitution and get away with it, for a price. See, in efforts to collect much needed income to pay for John Boehner's tanning booth time, or Mitch McConnell’s private lessons on “How to Assassinate A Good President and ruin the American Dream” or Eric Cantor's baby pacifiers which are needed by the thousands this election year, Uncle Sam is collecting money by very suspicious dealings. There exists these “penny” coin reformers found throughout the homeland heartland, wherein a once good Lincoln head can be transformed into, “scat”. Yes, for 51-cents, 50 for the shipping and handling, that penny can be transformed into a thin copper disk with no apparent value but as a “turd” stamp, from a rat crap to a bat crap to snake crap. Wow, what a way to learn about Congress, through turd coinage and committing a crime upon the Constitution! Maybe each type of turd needs a name associated with it, as “Turds” mean something upon this country's representation these days. I honestly believe in teaching elephants to fly, over Washington! Today, it’s not only the natural or historical benefits that can be enjoyed in our treasured lands set-aside wherein it is now OK to carry loaded weapons, we can now buy crap, in the form of turds, and walk away feeling good that a crime has been committed, and all it cost me was a… Imagine your kids after that Griswold summer outing and returning to school, instead of baseball card trading, it can be “scat” trading time. Hey, I’ll give you two Boehner turds for a McConnell turd? Look, we have been crapped on, by big corporations, like Bud and GE and EXXON who enjoy the ramifications of a Supreme Court “opinion” bent on thinking those with a robot heart are a genuine “person”, just a load of crap coming from the highest seat of justice. But the biggest load of crap comes from the Halls of Congress, as they are the lawmakers turned lawbreakers. So as we are forced to live within the means, as we resort back to drinking Budweiser and incorporating hamburger helper for three squares along with getting thrills turning Lincoln into a “Turd”, remember this! One step forward and 5-steps back, well slavery is just around the corner. That “giant leap” for mankind has been hijacked, by “Greed”. Just look at Obama’s face when he is confronted by a crap slinging Congress, as it points to a system that has nothing to offer, but pure unadulterated “crap” legislation. In reality, that is all the rich peoples wealth is buying these days, “crap” and time. As once upon a time….