Suppository Committee

Yes, I have decided to run for President of this Union, the United States of America that is. It appears that those making claims they can lead this country come the next erection, it is more of the same malarkey. So in efforts to exercise my duty as a unionist, I have started a suppository committee as I am way past the exploratory stage in my campaign and this country is in need an enema. But my term will be short-lived, not because I believe in “Term Limits” and NO I am not like Sarah Palin the Quitter, as come the midnight hour following my swearing in ceremony in January 2013, I will retreat my duties as Commander-in-Chief by signing an Eminent Domain Executive Order that returns all of America back to the Native Americans. This is in efforts to start over, as we have blown it with environmental responsibilities. Turning over the lands, lakes and rivers from sea to shinning sea, the original caretakers will regain sovereign power and begin to maintain dignity over the abused Mother Earth and prescribe future development, based on objectives to feed and shelter the populace, nothing more. The military will have all guns forfeited and replaced by hoes, picks, shovels and a stash of seeds. The deck of the NAVY will be our grain fields! The training grounds of our ARMY, the rice fields. The Marines will be dispatched to clean our poisoned and polluted waterways. The Air Force will realign the fleet to transport humanitarian aid, food and shelter to the needy, right here in America. All electricity for heat will be through bio-fuels, from “green stuff” grown and harvested by farmers. Half the highway infrastructure will revert back to natural habitat, for farming. With organics, there will be no need for Health Care, which makes the GOP happy, as with a clean environment missing “Fast Food”, we cannot help but become healthy once again. Farming will become the #1 industry of importance our survival taking over the Defense Budget. Again, the Native Americans will be the oversight police upon this endeavor, as they understand the Mother better then we have demonstrated over the past several hundred years since nation-hood. Casinos will become the ultimate Farmer's Market, still open 24/7. At best, we will become an agricultural only community, wherein we will have peace and harmony with the land, and peace and harmony with our brothers and sisters worldwide, wherein the only allowed fights will be that of a “Food Fight”. In fact that will be a Sunday requirement – tailgating allowed, in efforts to vent our frustrations that socialism works and we should have started down this path away from ruins a long time ago. Thank you for your consideration, which means your vote on Tuesday, November 6^th, 2012. I will be a write-in candidate. I'm hoping to pick Mr. Green Jeans as my running mate, again, as a means to further our existence as a peaceful society with a single agenda, food with peace, wherein WAR will be but a rich man's excuse under prohibition!