Simple explanation! Getting old means it is time to listen to the younger generation as they come up with bright ideas that the older but not wiser generation missed out on. It’s not really a drag at all, but sometimes amusing. Like listening to this young guy who is a scientist at the University of Mark Hamilton way up here in Alaska – a.k.a. University of Alaska. The school that boasts at least 100-faculty members for each student! Anyway, this video game generation kid thinks that we should paint asteroids white on one side and black on the other. See. It would suspend the “roid” in space due to some sort of energy transformation. The black side would absorb energy from all of space as the white reflected such, so “suspended animation” is what we would see on the video game called “How to Tame an Asteroid 101”. The only problem, how the hell do you paint an asteroid? Really, this is being proposed as a means to deter asteroids on a collision course with planet earth from ever realizing that dream of destruction. Now since internal combustion engines need oxygen from air for the combustion process, how else is this gigantic yet to be built space paint sprayer supposed to work? I assume it uses compressed air from a compressor. So how else to power the beastly machine? I guess a long extension cord may do, but damn I don’t think the Depot has anything close to what would be needed. And what kind of paint would be used? How many gallons of paint would have to be sent aloft? Is there a “space” environmental spill cleanup plan already approved? And what happens if the asteroid turns over and sun tans its opposite side? Then what? Is there a warranty on this type of craziness? OK, I can opinionate that it is a crazy idea. The bottom line, I think we forgot to tell the younger generation that we are not going anywhere far out in space with our current low-tech rocket type propulsion. It just doesn’t work to any advantage as it is too dangerous - this firecracker mentality - too expensive and it is too damn slow a mode of transportation when one is talking light-years-away to travel for some paint job. And would we be allowed to use migrant aliens? Sorry, it will never work, at least not yet. And to hope that an asteroid hits Mars in the near future so we can benefit from two under utilized space rovers, what happens if the speeding out-of-control rock misses that target and heads our earthly way? Then what? And what good will the rovers’ be? Don’t wish for something you don’t really want. Science in my book has become very stagnant. Polar bears can prove that. So can all the oil left behind the EXXON Valdez wreck. Anyway, lets take the “Mobius Strip” under consideration again. If you take a sharpened pencil and trace out the “Mobius”, it doesn’t work either! Why? Well the pencil is in reality a single point, or very close to it. And since the “Mobius” does a crazy thing – like when water freezes and turns to ice opposite of mathematical theory and principals not understood – we loose touch of what the “strip” is all about. The “strip” is a cyclic phenomenon, but it takes two round-abouts to get back to the starting point. It is pretty confusing, unless you are a member of the exclusive Alaskan “Corrupt Bastards Club”. If that is the case, you take a handout and cheat your way back. If it is still pretty confusing - this puzzle - link your computer to www.alaskaroundabouts.com to find out how to drive. And please, drive with your cell-phone glued to your pea-brain, so I can get a bigger settlement from your insurance provider when you recklessly sideswipe my ego. So in reality it requires a two-dimensional pencil of sorts for this “strip” tease. When this yet to be designed tool of reality traces the “Mobius” with the precision and dimensionality required, at that changeover point, it is exactly that as comes a single point of no return. Just like Alaskan style politics for and by corruption. So there exist many things that “my” generation failed at resolving, like WAR. It is an old fashion sport. It has played out its importance in this “New World”. It wastes money and men. Money that could have been used to employ men and women to fix things like breast cancer and other dreaded diseases. And once all that stuff is a thing of the past, then we can focus our attention on space stuff. Like graffiti projects. Can you imagine that, a space asteroid advertising the MS13. Hey, give them what they deserve, their own planet. Talk about taking aim at our road system. What a catastrophe it is here in Alaska. We can’t even build decent roads as of yesterday and today. And tomorrow doesn’t look too promising either! Everybody else - all over the world - has succeeded at this, and some have just as corrupt politicians. I meant environmental obstacles! Who the hell plans to have the “sunken” rat-hole covers in direct aim of my larboard side tires? For those of you left behind, larboard is the opposite of starboard! For those of you left behind, there are “rats” in Anchorage. Yes, one is named Ben. Anyway, why in hell do we have these sunken annoying bumps to begin with? Oh, just to satisfy some attorney who sued for some asshole that didn’t like getting his snow blade bumped by ice accumulation building up upon the metal covers during the winter! It hurt his back! So he suffered, which led to litigation that makes all of us suffer equally. Talk about a “Mobius Strip” mentality, what goes around comes around. Now I do like one thing about the asteroid painting concept. We could build a spaceship to get this job done. It could be called the “Corrupt Bastard V” with Ted at the helm. And get this great idea addition, this rocket - with all the crooks - could be blasted off at the Laird Lunch Facility located way down there on the Kodiak. No, it’s not a typo, that “Lunch”. It should have been “Launch” but that taxpayers’ hard earned money wasted catastrophe is nothing but a free lunch rip-off atrocity. It isn’t really a rocket launch facility at all but a mirage, one that exists only to suck up more then enough of the go-around pot-of-gold made possible by earmarks way off the “mark” of righteousness and ethics. Boy, this Alaska rip-off touring makes me really dizzy. Like I snorted way too much paint fumes. But I am coming up with these weird ideas as my mind wanders through space, like maybe we should build a wood chip export facility. Or how about a dairy industry with giant farms over at that Point McKenzie area, across from Anchorage. And then build a giant bridge that way to support it all. And then VECO could build an oil field module construction facility that would employ migrant workers. And why not build an amphibious assault vessel to take the workers back and forth? How about a Bill “Nose Bleed” Sheffield train depot out at the airport? How about a gigantic fish processing plane right here in Anchorage? How about studying the penis size of the Musk Oxen. And why not build some grain silos for a Delta barley project? Bottom-line, we blew anything close to a sustainable infrastructure here in Alaska. We had the money and the time, but something went drastically wrong. Maybe we should listen to the younger generation, but reality must sink in first, then we can all talk turkey and talk about the turkeys behind the corruption and the failures that will haunt this state for a long, long time to come. Like why in hell does this state still receive only a 12.5% royalty on our natural resources? For those left behind, that means the crocks take 87.5% back to the Queen in England. We need to get back to the basics, like good roads and a well paid teaching staff instead of a fake image infrastructure – that mirage thing again. We have great looking schools free of asbestos but pay the teachers a crappy wage. In this case, we can judge a book by its cover. Teachers should make as much as unionized ML&P workers. Or as much as non-unionized oil workers on the slope. That is what the younger generation should be focusing their attention upon, instead of outer space, as once the crooks disappear the amount of Federal welfare that is attracted to this state will be a thing of the “Corrupt” past! Space is not the last frontier, it is right here at your doorstep youngster!
CopyRight 2008 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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