Saturday, October 31, 2015

Help WANTED


This is an advertisement for the following position:

Title: Junket Clown
Salary: $223,500,000 annually
Vacation: 36 days per year
Holidays Observed: 9 during calendar year
In-Service Non-Work Days: 100(Not required to visit office)
Service Work-Days: 115 total, hours vary, NO overtime required.
Retirement: 80% of salary, vested after 5-years eligible at age 62.
Medical: Full Coverage
Probationary Period: Ha, Ha, Ha(None)
Other Fringe Benefits: Free luxury cruiser for family or business use pleasure, sail boats and complimentary vacation retreats along with “Private” golf course invitations. Total immunity from criminal prosecution, including rape and involvement in RICO. Insider trading acceptable.
Job Requirements: Must be a gifted deceiver and not afraid to shit upon the public domain while under oath. If you meet the following job qualifications and interested in this rewarding career with the “Do Nothing” association of “Clowns Unlimited United”, please contact Chief Bozo John Boehner at 202-225-0600.

Notice: Since this position is funded by grand theft fraud, even when the economy crashes a paycheck will be in the mail and retirement benefits are backed in full by the United States Treasury.

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