Fudge Affair

Dear Bill Walker and Bygone Mallard;

Since I am not in Juneau and cannot afford to fly to Juneau, I was not able - as many other similarly situated Alaskans - to attend the Walker & Mallot “Open House” wherein according to sources on scene, “Awaiting visitors this year were 25,000 cookies and 280 pounds of fudge, with hopes it would all be given away.” Now that you are the governor, you must exercise “extreme” caution when distributing the “wealth”, especially if it disenfranchises many, like when there is reason for an affair such as this even if it means a cookie or candy bar giveaway - wherein the cost is borne by the “state”. Sure you have a discretionary budget, so what, I'm hungry. So, please send me a cookie and piece of fudge. Matter of fact, send a few dozen cookies and a few pounds of fudge and I will act as the “Town Crier” for my neighborhood here in Anchorage. In fact I will even ring a bell for the season's greeting from the governor: “Hear ye, hear ye the governor sends fudge”! And if it helps the state with respect to the looming deficit - oil at how much, can't stop laughing - I will pay for the Shipping & Handling, as maybe it can be accommodated by the “Fly By” rates. Thanks again, and can't wait to taste a cookie, and some of that government funded “fudge”!

Sincerely, Theodolite Stevens.