M.V. Susitna Update

Just Out: According to unreliable sources - a.k.a. information from a member in good standing the Corrupt Bastards Club - the M.V. Susitna has found a temporary job! Yes, the “Ferry to Nowhere” will be used as a temporary bridge to replace the bridge that collapsed on U.S. Highway 5 the other day, up north on the border between the United States and Canada. So much for Don Young's TeLue Bill, that was supposed to fix those bridges in disrepair. What the hell happened to all that loot, that was approriated for the highways when Don had the pen of approval? So a “Bridge to Nowhere” the M.V. Susitna, maybe not so for awhile. It's about time somebody in their right mind found something worthwhile this ship approved by fools, before it rusts away. Maybe that is what they were hoping for, that out-of-sight out-of-mind mentality. Imagine, this boat now a bridge! And since this road that found a main artery bridge taking on water, since it is part of the U.S. DOT and under its jurisdiction, the rent for this boat used as a bridge will cover the costs associated with ripping off the U.S. Taxpayers. Finally, a rebate for America. See, maybe there is a silver lining instead of a wooden sliver, like this project has been since conception, I mean constipation when the christening occurred, when we were all asleep at the wheel and our representatives enjoyed the Dom Perignon at our expense. I laugh everytime I see MoanaLisa MurCowpie at that ceremony holding that welders torch, and that “Big Blue” glove? Bend over America, here she comes! OK, stop blaming Dead Ted for this debacle of a shipwreck - he's dead and cannot defend himself. It was Don Young that pressured the NAVY into building this “junk”, NOT Ted! Please credit where credit is due.

Just In: The M.V. Susitna may not be utilized as a bridge replacement as reported earlier, for several reasons. 1^st and foremost, there aren't any able-bodied seamen that know how to pilot this vessel south to America and the only individual that filed an interest to man the helm was a guy named Hazelwood? And the other reason, the Pt. McKenzie Port Authority wants to charge a toll, of $450 dollars, one-way for passenger vehicles! Does this expensive piece of tin come with a curse? When I was through Ketchikan last year and finally found the place of origin the AWOL status of this “junk”, what was noticeable and peculiar was the fact that not even the ravens or gulls would come to rest on this thing! They would fly over and crap on it, but never resting on its hull, like there was something wrong with it! Target practice anyone? Good for one thing I guess. But maybe the gulls were trying to get the point across, that we have been crapped on, again, by those that think they represent Alaska! What you mean coconuts don't grow here in the “Lost Frontier”, Don wouldn't lie to us, would he?