HI NORAD

Since the “Cold War” has simmered down because Russia went tired of babysitting the threat of Sarah Palin's Alaska and the “Yellow Cake” scare was just another GWB wet-dream, NORAD has been bored. I think it stands for No Organization to the Right Assists Democracy. No wonder Laura slept in a desperate bed for eight years, as George was always peeing his pants – one of those unknown attributes of the 43^rd President – I meant “A town in Texas missing an idiot”. In my book and contrary to what the encyclopedia of today promotes, wherein this book of knowledge starts off with respect our past presidents with a full blown mugshot so we can teach our kids who not to associate with or take candy from – like an APB for the “Most Unwanted”... What you mean they stopped publishing the presidential mugshots following Dubya's raid on the White-House? Now I do believe George has returned to that wacko town, so this meaningful saying with respect to that town's “lose” is not so any longer. Our gain is their lose, haha! Really, the main reason George refuses to write those memoirs is based on the embarrassment over his uncontrolled “peeing” episodes and also withstanding the fact he would freak out when a stogie stubby – cigar left over from Bill's Clinton's clandestine affairs – went discovered in the Oval Office. And the only design as of yet for a “GWB Presidential Library” that excites the architectures comes in the shape of a diaper! Anyhow, with the “Cold War” boredom, NORAD finds other things to entertain its $extravagant$ eavesdropping operation – located in a bat cave somewhere in Wyoming – close to the whereabouts of Dick Cheney. And today, the “Big Screen” TV's that provide a panoramic view of the globe for the men & women responsible to observe peculiar activity, with an eye out for UFO sightings including wayward bullets from Dick's hunting expeditions when Mr. Yellow Cake thinks that buddy's face is a ruddy duck - kaboom - well the spies were following the movement of none other then good'ole St. Nick. Way to go! Which means Jewish kids could call the “HI NORAD” hotline too see when to light that fire in the chimney. Imagine, this outfit with high-powered sophisticated radars can track an imaginary character! Must be some damn good technology the spies have at their disposal. When storm Sandy attacked Chris Christie's “Big Mac”, the pictures of the storm's aftermath provided by a 3^rd party custodial, well those 4x5 glossies were pretty damn precise, as one could see the sesame seeds on those buns blowing around in the winds of destruction. What you mean that stuff ain't real seeds and just a figment of one's imagination – trying to play games with reality that in truth there isn't anything healthy in that “crap”? But those pictures were fascinating, as to what can be seen from way out yonder in outer space by robot like satellites. And this is outdated technology that goes up for sale to interested wannabe spies, that use this technology to promote “home grown amateur porno”. Look, don't stand naked in your window or you might find yourself on YouBoob! But being able to follow the man with the big bag of toys as he gallivants across the globe, well this underground outfit NORAD may have some kind of uncloaking device, to follow the whereabouts of Santa and his herd of reindeer under the influence – the “Red” nose thing. Now why not put this hi-tech eavesdropping stuff to some genuine full-time duty, like following the members of Congress. Talk about “crap”, had this technology been in use when Mike Crapo went drunk, maybe there would have been one less drunk driver making our roads so unsafe. Imagine, a guy that is sworn in to uphold the Constitution, drinking then driving! What red light? See, let's entertain ourselves by following this crime scene to see what Congressional immunity does for these elected officials. Honestly, all the “Crap” man must do is convince that Virginia judge assigned to his case the argument that he was on “official” business and the immunity clause kicks in, which gives preferential freedoms to members of Congress for everything – including freedom to rape – so we may see this guy get off “Scott Walker” free - which means in celebration another victory a whole bunch of workers may get furloughed. I bet those cops are running scared! Bottom-line, we may see yet another member of Congress committed to a crime but getting away with it without any penance – as a deterrent. Just like has occurred with Tom Delay, a convicted felon yet still a free man today down in Texas, as we all know that in the cowboy state it is the color of one's skin that may forfeit one's freedoms. So on January 4^th, U.S. Senator from Tea-Party Potatoe Land – a.k.a. Idaho – will go on trial, just a few days before the Supreme Court swearing in of the 113^th Congress. Stay tuned, as we may see more of the same insane allegiance from our representative body as we have come accustomed to – a do nothing Congress that doesn't give a rat's ass attitude about anything except screwing us over and over again - as they all would fail a congressional sobriety test as they are drunk as skunks and cannot kick the “lobby” habit with hangover! Wow, it works! I just received a call-back from NORAD, that Santa was shot down over North Pole, Alaska, when just trying to take a work break with pay – by a guy in camouflage and equipped with a bazooka and yielding the flag of the Tea-Bag party. All I want for Christmas, well how about a Congress that works “For the People”, NOT “Against the People”!