COvid Cure: Texting takes the humanity out of humanity!

Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind

Sponsored by the LOUSY HAT SOLIDARITY PARTY

Beware an "Eyes Only" Site
Stories All About Alaska and More...
Contact the Ghost of Spam McGee
We All Tweet in a Twitter Submarine: @AlaskaChinook
E-mail: doctorv.roomvroom@gmail.com
(CopyRight Protected)

~ This Machine KILLS Fascists ~
Solidarity National Anthem
"This Land Is Your Land"
This BLOG in dedication to Alaskan Jack Marler

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Fumunder

How many flavors? Well the results of the “Best Belly Jell Flavor” for 2103 is official, as tested by the blind experts - drum roll please....and the winning “mystery” flavor as enjoyed by members of Congress, FUMUNDER!
Yes, as a test to see just how far Congress is today removed from reality, candy of “mysterious” flavor, and maybe origin, was free-loaded around the Senate and House chambers - and it was FUMUNDER that beat expectations and won the flavor of the year award. Leave it to Congress, again! 
FUMUNDER: a fungus that grows between your butt-hole and you wanker.

Alaska RailRoad Christmas


'Twas the night before Christmas...
Yes, not a creature was stirring and the children were nestled all snug in their beds. When over the airwaves was heard, “Opinions are like an anal hole, they all stink except mine”, from the orifice of the Alaska Railroad's chief all aboooard that Reality Sucks channel, that Alaska Railroad showing. “Daddy, does Santa have an anal hole?” Thanks Casey Jones....

Best of Congress – 2013


MoanaLisa MurCowpie(Alaska) goes at it with Nancy Pelosi(California).

Threesome

Passing gas in good company.....

What the hell did Don eat?

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Wrecking Ball


Wow, appears the wrecking ball may be headed to Alaska, under the control of the U.S. ARMY 5-Star Generals – so don't get in the way of progress! It means that Fairbanks will become a ghost town. But the lights of progress in the “Golden Heart” were turned to dim a long time ago! Yes, we blew it and time once on our side has by now become our worst enemy. See, Ft. Wainwright was voted in as the most expensive military base in the world, due the cost of energy. High marks came for the worth of the base with respect to training troops, but when combined, the energy offered not a rebate that demonstrated the base was worth maintaining. Long winters means mega-piles of coal must be torched in efforts to keep the troops warm. And the cost of electricity coming from the Golden Valley Heist Corporation, in efforts to light the base so the troops can read the game plans of WAR – outrageously expensive watts so this utility can reward its executive branch with out-of-control salaries – it is but another factor that makes the military infrastructure in Alaska no longer necessary. Yes, outrageous salaries that amounts to a 3-to-1 dollar per meter with respect to similar salaries for electric companies down Anchorage ways! Things have changed in the theater of WAR, so what was once considered a base to secure the “Homeland”, with modern day hi-tech mobility the troops can be stationed almost anywhere, at a base that is more friendly towards the U.S. Taxpayers footing that bill – we still foot the bill! In Alaska, we did shoot ourselves in both feet when it came to keeping an open invite to the military machine – remember, it creates jobs to maintain the base infrastructure. Take for instance the price of Joe's crappy coal along with the Alaska Railroad's highway robbery, to ship goods on its podunk rails, it strangles any incentive to expand anything that has to run by a business model. And today, the military is forced to find cheaper ways to do the same with less, as the budget is running on empty. So when we hear about a dilapidated base – like Eielson Air Force Base – getting furloughed, it has nothing to do with politics but comes about through pure business necessity reasoning. And Begich has a conniption fit, MoanaLisa MurCowpie runs for cover and Don Young, well he makes sure the bases in Florida are secure! Look, the Department of Defense logistics guru's have succeeded in procuring long-term energy contracts from entities like BP, wherein the U.S. Taxpayers would realize a 5% decrease in fuel costs, to energize the military infrastructure. A 1% decrease amounts to $100-Million in savings! This was a cost saving realized all over the world, even in Iraq, except Alaska. Yes, in the “Lost Frontier”, fuel costs to Uncle Sam have increased by 14% and it cannot bicker a long-term bargain, as Joe and Casey Sheffield say they cannot look into the future! For what reason, it is beyond simple supply and demand no competition so screw the government thinking. Look, when the Tea-Party shovels the coal, what do you expect? Sock it Tome Saturday night special sound familiar? I listened to the ARRC's new CEO, I guess it was the railway-man's way of extending all of us a Happy New Year. See, the kids were all nestled in for a long winter's night, when across the tube came this character that I assume was the chief, as it was on that Alaska Railroad fantasy reality show. “Opinions are like anal holes, they all stink except mine”. Thanks boss! Honestly, what a message for our kids thinking Rudolf was safe! Sorry, as I went anal bushwhacked. Now since Fairbanks is on the EPA's hit list due year after year of air pollution abuse and many of the nearby military base power plants working under a “shield” - a poor excuse to allow polluting of the air we breath - well the brass are not stupid and by now have no other option then to place many of the non-critical interior bases into stand-down mode. Which means that in a matter of time, the OK to let loose the wrecking ball will commence. Had we looked carefully at the crystal-ball, we would have noticed the writing on the wall: “Cheap energy or else”. By this time in the grudge-match, we should have been bathing in cheap natural-gas from Prudhoe Bay. It is our gas. It is our land. We know how to build pipelines across the tundra. All we need is some pipe, and it is a done deal. But instead we have fostered a new business in which “buddy” nepotism generations will continue to study this and study that only in efforts to study their greedy way to stay gainfully employed, the feasibility herein takes on an entirely different attribute. Look, nepotism is alive and well in Alaska, and the worst thing that ever happened to this state – wherein the “Last” was replaced with “Lost” - was when Frank gave that senate seat to his daughter and we ended up with a land swindler! My take on this, along with many others educated and disciplined in business, it is the sad fact that we have started a cottage industry that does not want to ever see natural gas heat water to the boiling point in the interior, as that would mean time to look for another job for those that have succeeded in so far making a career out of nothing. But if those in control can continue to delay this and delay that, in efforts to keep their cush do-nothing jobs alive and well all the way through to retirement, we get what we deserve – doom with gloom appears to be the outcome. I get a kick out of the Tea-Party mentality here in Alaska. See, many aligned with Sarah Palin work at the military bases, as the defense budget is the gift that keeps on giving. But you mention the “BRAC”, and low and behold these lunatics go berserk, get decked out in camouflage, strap on dildoes – I meant their weapons – and gather around and talk intimidation towards Uncle Sam. They don't want government for anything, yet their paycheck relies on government. It is the ultimate “wishy-washy” party of conservative fruitcakes. If they truly felt that government was a waste, they would quit their jobs, say the hell with unemployment and join the “Dickless Dynasty” clan. They could all head out into the Alaskan wilderness, and within a year it would be a remake of “Donner's Pass”, they would all be starving to death and crying for Uncle Sam to “feed me”! In fact, they should enjoy seeing the Alaskan military infrastructure fade away! And out at Ft. Greely, well budget cuts were about to thin a few jobs for the goons that sweep the never used runways, of snow and grit blown in from the Tanana delta. Those civilians about to loose that Uncle Sam paycheck with benefits went on a Begich migraine rampage, in the end, well the cush jobs found a stay yet the commissary that provided hot lunches for the training troops went on rations – how about a cold sandwich! Out at Wainwright, same occurred when the returning troops found no work except to maintain the security check-points, it meant the private contractor had to furlough some security goons, so the troops could work – after finishing up in Afghanistan. Low and behold, the contractor contacted the Alaska delegation and guess what! Yes, Uncle Sam was reneging on the contract and would end up paying for nothing if the troops interfered with the “private” contractor, so the troops were pulled off the security duty. I heard one Doyon security guard, one that was upset over the fact that he was close to the unemployment line should the troops succeed in taking over - basically securing their own base - that the troops should go back home, to Afghanistan! What in hell has happened to America? But getting back to the doom and gloom, it is coming our way. As we speak, drones are mapping out a “stand-down” strategy wherein Alaska will be left behind. It's too late, we cannot say please Mr. Postman, return to sender that layoff notice. Who is too blame? Start off with our delegation. Then we see the trickle down theory begin to show its ugly face, local politicians are also at blame. When Congress is dead-on-arrival, and when we continue to see the effects of the Corrupt Bastard Club hangover here in Alaska, wherein religion somehow went out-of-control and lost all separation, there will come a time wherein the brats will raid the hen-house. Yes, the Constitutional Budget Reserve is NOT safe. And believe me, it won't be divvied out with any semblance of equity, as they will raid it for their own benefit and then get that 1st class plane ride out of here to that secret location that has been sheltering their future. But in the end, we are too blame, as we voted the scoundrels into office, based on lies and deception - their Motif Operandi - and we took the line, bait, hook and sinker, and still don't realize what the sharp barb caught in our groins means. So for Alaska, which has never succeeded in developing a sustainable jobs infrastructure – even though we had approved “Foreign Trade Zones” up the yin-yang – I guess future generations can claim a new discipline, that of a demolition expert, as that is all that will be left in the long run! And we would not have this problem front and center for attention had we insisted upon our politicians to get off the stool or else, get a natural gas pipeline headed our way back 20-years ago or else. Look, how hard is it to ditch some pipe in the tundra for a measly 500-miles, along a paved road? And Trans-Canada is laughing all the way to the Toronto-Dominion bank, after milking this state out of $500-Million, to perform, well not much except excuse after excuse, because that is what the state bureaucrats wanted so bad and like Twiddly-Dee and Twiddly-Dumb, the latter seems to be what we all suffer upon for letting it go on, for way too long!

Friday, January 3, 2014

Fan Question


Dear Spam;
Over Christmas I was researching Alaska Chinook salmon, for our fishing trip to Alaska next summer. Low and behold, on that BING site, under images of Alaska Chinook salmon, there was this rather odd looking fish? Please help us out, like is it legal to keep such a catch. And what kind of tag must we get from the Fish and Game for fishing this species, is there a prize? Talk about a great fireplace mount! And do Alaskan salmon really eat human crap discharged from the cruise ships? If so, should we avoid the fishing channels that welcome these monster ships? Tom Delay

 Alaska "Chinook Salmon"?


Dear Tom Delay;
Yes, Alaska salmon do eat human crap and lots of it, as it is their last meal before they hit the rivers to roost – spawn. So unless you like eating crap - like eating at McDonalds - then definitely avoid the waterways wherein the cruise ships can be found. That fish is a mysterious looking species, I have heard of several being hooked but never landed. Some think it is a cross-breed between an imbecile and a crab. I understand that a film crew is making a take on that fish, like Alaska's Loch Nest, Alaska's Abominable Whoreman. Hey, are you Tom Delay, the “Hammer”? If so, how was prison food? You will be right at home here in Alaska, as you won't find any decent food, so that crap fed salmon may be your best bet.

STOOL PIGEONS

STOOL Defined - a piece of excrement;
"STOOL"


STOOL PIGEONS Defined - those that flock to excrement;

"STOOL PIGEONS"

What the Sarah Palin - do real Americans waste time watching this Dysentery Duck Dynasty? Talk about a boring lifestyle, boring clothes, boring wives, togetherness like inbreeding lobotomy rules the day. Duck calling is like Hitleristic yodeling, call in the victims then blast them out of the water – not a fair play chase. Did you ever taste a good duck soup? But maybe it is the Tea-Toilet Pansy Party that finds this family as entertainment, which goes to show an empty IQ doesn't mean “brain-dead” but very close to it! NO you must be kidding, does Sarah Palin really direct this show.....At least Alaska is not wasting “Tax Film” credits on this waste of celluloid, at least not yet.


This response is published under the 1st Amendment of the United States Constitution and allowed to be broadcast without recourse to litigation when our American sons & daugters have come under attack by those that have violated their birth sworn duty to secure our individual right to liberty and pursuit of happiness. If any content herein is in error or cause for concern, please acknowledge such and all attempts to correct the record will be considered. This shall be before any litigation attempts, basically, if you don't tell us your disagreements upon this content, then you accept it wherein time is of the essence.