Well it is that time of
year again, wherein the mountain climbing artificial ingredient
aficionados take a “Big DUMP” and Alaska's once pristine
environment gets a makeover. I'm talking about that groupie group of
artificial intelligence that believe in the theory their shit don't
stink so can commence that yearly ritual of crapping on America. In
their wake leaving cesspool central for future generations to contend
with! Look, when you have close to a thousand people spending several
weeks in close comfort at the U.S. TAXPAYERS' funded “Buttress”
base camps up there in close proximity to the McKinley anal hole
seepage, hey that's a whole lot of congregational “crap” and that
yellow snow, egad what is there of interest spending time in a
wilderness latrine? Look, that high up there ain't no workable septic
systems, so most of the turds and ass-wipe toilet paper are, well
“crevassed” away in bags – but with the poopsayers name, rank
and serial number? And with so cold a climate for most of the year,
“crap in bags” finds a turnaround half-life cycle of 446-years,
twice as long as radio-active Throruim-233. Yes, it's called
“environmental littering” and a crime allowed! How come us low
life down-to-earth folks must abide by “Carry In Carry Out”?
Reminds me of “You can get anything you want at Alice's
restaurant...they took twenty seven
eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and
arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against
us. Took pictures of the approach, the
getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to
mention the aerial photography.”,
slap the cuffs on those that litter away bags filled with human crap!
Imagine, shitting in a bag and stuffing it in a “crevasse”, like
is it supposed to act like a time capsule! YUP, assholes were here!
OK, so the U.S. Taxpayers are now providing CMCs, “Clean Mountain
Cans”, so a climber's crap can keep Iissy's Honey Bucket patrol
employed! For real, along with the “cans” provided to climbers on
the cheap, there exists today U.S. TAXPAYER toilets that are
airlifted to high elevation base camps by the Air National Guard at
the rate of $6000 per hour of flying time? Oh, it's categorized as a
“Training Mission”, so it comes from the defense budget, not the
Trojan turd budget. Here is my take on the crapshoot. Not too long
ago, a research team found that “fecal matter” above and beyond
the safe limit was everywhere in and around the Mt. McKinley base
camps, as so with the “stool samples” taken along the popular
climbing routes and with “Global Warming” affecting high
elevations also, well that crap was starting to migrate downhill,
after years and years of scores and scores of climbers shitting their
way to the top of Alaska's highest summit. According to reliable
sources, 98% of climbers are affected with gastronomical diarrhea
while attempting a climb of the 20000 peak, due unsanitary
conditions! Mission Control, we may have another “Love Canal”.
OK, enough of the “crap” as a “war” continues on, over the
“True” name of the highest mountain in North America. It is about
the only thing that I have been in agreement with since Don “Rabid
Skunk” Young invaded the “Sense of Congress”, as every time he
authors legislation to change the mountain's “official” name back
to the original name of “Denali” - to which I favor - he gets
heat from cowpie lobbyists from “outside” and McKinley reigns,
again and again and again. See, Congressman Young despises “bile
paths”, so wants the mountain renamed in honor of the Athabaskan
natives that claimed the “Denali” name 10000 years ago. Poops, I
meant “bike paths”! See, we could kill two-turds with one stone
by allowing the Native Alaskans to regain a claim on the mountain's
name. If it were for once officially recognized as “Denali” - the
“Great One” - it would then become a sacred peak, off limits to
climbers and with that we would get rid of the “crap” and save
money wasted away in thin air while ferrying the “crapper” up and
down the “Buttress” each season, and not have to payout for those
CMCs! Why in hell are the U.S. Taxpayers subsidizing this mountain
climbing fantasy? What do we get in return, except crevassed bags of
shit. Return on our investment? It stinks! With a name change back to
“Denali”, then due the “sacredness” honored by the
Athabaskans upon the Mother Earth - hetchetu aloh -
and denying permits to piss on the “Great One”, climbing the
mountain's famed peak would be banned and why would someone then want
to climb to the base camp just to get hit with the Hersey squirts –
the enthusiasm would be gone for the “good”! But herein is
another reason the name should be respected, given back to the
Alaskan natives for safekeeping. From my “accurate” estimates
made possible through “Transparency” and “Freedom of
Information”, it costs the U.S. TAXPAYERS about $4-Million each
season to have “crap police” handing out the CMCs and making sure
those that “crevasse” their turds sign on the dotted line. In a
nutshell basic, “We the People” are subsidizing for this crap
affair on high at approximately $4000 per climber – and many are
foreigners! At the same time, the latrines at the low life camps
found around Glitter Gulch and over-flowing with tourist turds, well
we pick up the tab at $20 bucks per flush! Remember the “Golden
Toilet Seat” made famous courtesy of the fleecing of the U.S.
Taxpayers, well it appears the “ultimate” in TAXPAYER funded
“crap” has found a new cover, as like the turds crevassed away
for safekeeping, we continue to get “shat” upon. Then again,
maybe if we can't give the natives respect, then maybe those CMCs
should have S&H requirements paid for by those wanting the
enjoyment of diarrhea on high – shipping and handling “charges”
applied, and when a climber is tired of “craping” on Ruth, just
send that cesspool-in-a-can to its deserving resting place, the
governor's mansion in Ohio. Then maybe after enough crap sent that
way, maybe that state will begin to mind its own business and
"Notwithstanding any other authority of law, the mountain
located 63 degrees 04 minutes 12 seconds north, by 151 degrees 00
minutes 18 seconds west shall continue to be named and referred to
for all purposes as Mount McKinley." will be an old
thought in the wind, like a long ago fart that no longer takes our
breath away!
Human
Waste Disposal:
“If
CMC’s are not available for use , all human waste must be deposited
into biodegradable bags (provided by the National Park Service) and
disposed of in a deep crevasse away from popular trails. All bags
will be marked with the
expedition’s name or permit number.
In an
effort to make sure that the snow is clean for future water supplies,
use Clean Mountain Cans (CMC)
when available
, consolidate
pee holes away from camping areas
, always
use biodegradable bags when you do not have a CMC
, dispose
of your human waste bag in a deep crevasse
, do
not leave human waste on the snow
. The National Park Service has
installed outhouses for public use at
Kahiltna Basecamp and 14,200
feet on the West Buttress of Denali
. Your cooperation in accepting
these responsibilities will contribute significantly
to our
collective care for this special place, so that all may experience a
pristine
glacier environment, both now and in the future. The proper
disposal of human waste is
not only the right thing to do, it is required.
Failure to follow
these requirements may result in the issuance of a violation notice and other legal action.”
The $4000 CMC "Honey Bucket"!
(Cost to climber, $300)
~
(Cost to climber, $300)
~
Drone Aerial shot of "OPEN PIT" latrine at base camp - taken 5/31/2015