Anchorage Daily Stool

My subscription faded away about a month ago. But the paper weight continues to show up at the front door. And when not on time just last Sunday, I called the “hot line”. After entering in the data of my delinquent account, I thought the robot lady was going to say, “Sorry, we cannot process your request. Please contact a customer service representative during normal business hours”, to renew the subscription. But no, in fact I received two papers on that day. Sunday is the day wherein the paper weighs in at 2-pounds and only 50-grams is news worth waiting for. The rest is garbage advertisement. So one gets used to a hernia on Sundays, while hauling the Stool around. And this telemarketing guy has been bugging me for eons, about great new prescription rates, I mean subscription rates, all for a limited time only offer of a lifetime. Hey, it’s free now! Can I get free hernia insurance? Anyway, page 2 of the Monday paper was all so interesting as a sure sign of failed journalism. I look forward to Monday, as to find any news in Sunday’s paper is a real challenge. In fact, I read this pathetic piece of journalism just for a laugh. Anyway, page 2 has this add that is real fascinating. No it’s not the one about the 50th Anniversary Statehood festivities, but the one next to it. So as the kids read about statehood, they can also ask about fakehood! It is titled, “The New Sexual Experience”, in giant can’t miss headline type font! “Call now for a FREE bottle”! “Keep her coming back for more”. And this was sitting right by the 50th Anniversary of Statehood ad, “Bring the family. Join the parade!” Like I said, pathetic journalism. To have this kind of garbage on page 2, what are the tourists going to say? And then page 4 was a half-page of ads. Page 5 more of the same. Page 6, a full page ad for some Internet business of a life time crap. Telemarketing in print is my sentiment. Then there is all the other full page ads for yet another natural gas pipeline proposal. How many gas lines do we need, besides ONE. What is this some kind of secretive confusion factor? And page n to n+1, more adds. Wow, is this an extension of Sunday’s paper? Crap journalism. It is sad when there is only one paper in a one corrupt club town. But that is the wave of the future, as the hi-tech allows one to read a news flash of choice and “blog” back anything and everything. It is the best of the 1st Amendment Right under your nose. At one time, we were just the receivers of the news, as readers. Now we can make our opinions known to the rest of the world, immediately. And when one observes the barrage of responses following something of interest, it provides a response that follows a very popular curve, known as the Bell-weather curve. Like is utilized to indicate the stock market performance in general, for the news it provides a performance index to the fact that prejudice is alive and well! And the excitement, it “peters out” like a premature orgasm. Maybe it can use some of that stuff advertised in the Stool, “Vazopren”! It starts working in 25-minutes. It keeps working for 36 to 48 hours, guaranteed! But at least blogbusting journalism is a cheap way to rage on, rant on, vent out and opinionate. That is all we get out of the Supreme Court these days, is an opinion by a select minority of 9 judges appointed for life. And everybody gets upset over this lifetime appointment, no different then our senators and congressmen! Answer me this, with the Internet becoming a valuable tool reaching most of America, why not let the people vote directly for everything and anything? Benihumbing! Well believe me, it is only a matter of time wherein we will have the technology to do just that. There will come a time when all decisions will be made by a vote placed upon the people, and the true meaning of “By the people and for the people” will not be muddied upon by lobbyist who insist on representatives be lobotomized under oath. Statistically speaking, we have approached that time! As it is a time come and no longer is it required to have representatives far and removed in one central location. In fact, I can vote more responsible from the confines of my home then can most elected or selected representatives! As they bring with them supposedly only the will of the people’s voice, but included is greed, corruption, religious affiliation and a trust me smile that doesn’t broadcast very well over the Internet, as it is a confusing signal with missing bits of integrity. So the Bell-weather is telling us that Internet journalism is here to stay, wherein we can all enjoy that 1st Amendment Right, to swear as we please and not have to worry about the FCC, as all words are sacred in the blogisphere! Talk about a well-defined unregulated militia, bearing a keyboard as the arms of choice. Remember, more damage with a pen then a gun is something to be wary upon. Alas, my Constitution is awakened!

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