M.A.G.A. Dildo Repair HOTLINE

Is your M.A.G.A. - Make America Gag Again - “dildo” feeling tired and no longer the throat throb it was once-upon-a-time, when the first priority for the Fucking Moron when he trespassed and entered the Orifice Office was a “My Cuntry Tits of Three” pants full of shit in panic…well, there is a new “HOTLINE” you can call for quick-me-up repairs. And guess what, all repairs are courtesy the GOP Femdom Freedom Caucus, from military $loot$ held back from Ukraine.

Act now, Repair Technicians are standing by to assist in getting the “good vibrations” back into your Putin love life:

Devin Netanyahu at 202-225-2523

Jim Sphincter at 202-225-2676

Matt Space Cadet at 202-225-4136

And if you are still confused as to which end of the bright red MAGA dildo goes up the asshole, call and ask for Doctor Ben Stirrup for lubrication assistance at 202-225-3164.

If you are a MAGA enthusiast and would like to be part of a survey to score whether the MAGA dildo is a best fit up the ass or other orifice, please call Mr. Stolen Valor at 202-225-9730 to have your opinion counted.

Note: If all lines are busy, a “Circle Jerk” is in progress.