Thursday, August 28, 2014

Alaska State Fair


Wasn't this year's Alaska State Fair the best ever? There was the Don Young “Rabid Skunk” ride, which smelled like a “road kill skunk” from all the little kid vomit. And then we had the MoanaLisa MurCowpie M.V. Susitna “Christening” extravaganza, wherein you would try to hit the moving target boat with a giant bottle of Don Perignon, to see if you could cause a “Sunken Ship Tilt”. The only thing bad about that was the “Tip Jar” for the Port Authority? And that “Bridge To Nowhere” leading towards the petting zoo, which was even more fun maneuvering when you went blindfolded to see how it works for our legislatures! And the urinals at the “Bud Chase”, who thought of those floating fake turds the resemblance of Palin? The Joe Miller “Winkie with a Twinkie” race was a hit as was the entertainment by the “CBC” trio, especially the band's new release “Arrested Again for Bribery” - only thing missing was Art Linkletter. I didn't know Bill Allen was so gifted! Don was busy giving away viagra and bennie caps to the kids - “I Want To Be Like Don When I Grownup”. Begich was a no show, no big loss, something about getting in a confrontation with his brother HARPO. And those fire-works, where there was a markup of the Kodiak Launch Facility “blowing” its top in a multi-colored flame enraged wreakathon! But the best that found attention in making this event find lasting impressions was the “Entry Gate” act wherein that guy dressed as Sean Parnell shots himself in the groin. I felt the pain and agony of defeat - it was just too real. And I did see a whole bunch of Sarah Palin look-alike creatures of habit, but I don't know if that was part of the organizer's efforts, or something in the water over Wasillibilly way. All in all, we don't need the “Fat Lady” or other freak like attractions, as.....we have political savvy in a league of our own the unknown!

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