Free Pizza

Now that the U.S. Congress has cast the majority decision that “Pizza” is a vegetable, it is time to take advantage this historic legislation. So write your Congressmen and Senator and ask for a free bag of seeds, the “Pizza” seeds, so you can grow then enjoy the fruits, I mean vegetables, of your labors. Imagine the possibilities this work of art, fresh off the vine, a pepperoni or sausage - even vegetarian delights. Gee wiz, is this what Generic Engineering Effort can accomplish? Or is this just another Dan Quayle “Potatoe” moment! Yes indeed, for the present day representation that costs the U.S. Taxpayers $175,000 per year per seat warmer in the House, whose membership finds more time off for bad behavior then Oliver North, about the only thing accomplished this session was passing a bill that allows “Pizza” to be categorized as a “vegetable”, in efforts that this staple still be considered part of a healthy school lunch program that is supposed to in effect help eradicate kid obesity. See, the taxpayers foot the bill for the “School Lunch” program across America, in the tune of $18-billion each year. So when the inclusion of “Pizza” was about to be banned, the doughboy lobbyist stuffed - not dough - but hard cash down the throats of those in control to make reasonable decisions, so today we find “Pizza” recognized as a “vegetable”. Now when you hear that the approval rating for Congress is at an all time low due in part to bipartisan duke-it-outs, wherein nothing finds compromise, rest assured that when it comes to feeding their fat faces, they can accomplish the ridiculous, with Pizza! In the mean time, kids can enjoy this healthy alternative for lunch and breakfast, as we need more vegetables in our diets to make sure for a healthy America. Yes indeed, the 107th Congress goes on vacation for the Christmas holidays with only two successful votes in favor say ye “Yey” this entire session. Their cost of living increase and the “Pizza” caper. What a job! So even though this has not been decided upon by any representative body except my own free will and in honor of Alice’s Restaurant Massacree anniversary #40 plus some, Hairy-yee, hairy-yee, Hilary-gee comes now this decree declared: “Beer” like “pizza” and being equal in opportunity and benefit likewise, finds itself this day declared a vegetable, as Pizza and beer have a whole lot in common, that marriage made in Heaven, a truly America bipartisan concept aligned as equal for the common cause. Sorry, I can’t help the cost-of-living thing!