Friday, May 6, 2011

Anchorage, Oh Anchorage!


It is that time of year again, spring has sprung! Now I could go on a raging rant upon the disgust over trash and litter left behind over winter from incongruent people who think they are true Alaskans, but there are other issues at hand for Alaska's “Big Wild Life” city – a.k.a. Anchorage. But before moving on, there are many indicators that reflect on how a culture is changing its ways and means. My weather bell is based on the “trash” index, as it appears that we have now before us a generation, basically newcomers, that believe the great outdoors has one importance, as an endless trash can. See, with all that crap we buy with that yearly “Welfare“ check, it provides tonnes of trash. It used to be that people “new” to Alaska, mostly transplants, respected the landscape and come break-up, there was some leftover trash here and there. All before “Fast Food” touched down. But nowadays it takes several weeks of liberal volunteerism just to clean up things left behind along the highway leading to the Dimond Center. That is where “Best Buy” is located and where 99% of the welfare checks get cashed out. Hey, with “No Child Left Behind”, how about “No Trash Left Behind”? But now that temperatures are a little bit above freezing – it's only May – it invites our interest outdoors. The scenery is great if one looks upward towards the mountain peaks, but be careful as down below there is trash to trip on. Now Anchorage has got to be the most unfriendly city - amongst third world metropolis' - for pedestrians. Bike riding? Forget it, I would rather be in competition with the brown bears along Campbell Creek then trying to maneuver a bike along traffic bent on target practice – Sarah Palin style. It is by design this ruddiness towards the pedestrians. Even though stimulus money in the “millions” was used to update the traffic lights, it provided nothing except some jobs and a bunch of leftover “still good” fixtures that became “more trash”. Recycle? It doesn't create jobs! And all this waste, it didn't improve upon anything. Maybe this city would be ahead of the game to hire a bonafide traffic engineer that has spent time in cities that likes its pedestrian population. Hey, what worth is a city without pedestrians? And what makes it worse, this driver mentality bent on “road kill”, is the fact that there exists no traffic lane paint come the breakup season. Look, there are cities with just as bad of weather with a hell of a lot more traffic, but they buy decent paint. Once again, if you buy paint that would last, well it would cause some major unemployment. I am sure there are well paid seasonal jobs re-painting the lane dividers each year here in Anchorage. And crime has become a viable industry in a state that has failed at producing a sustainable jobs infrastructure. Don't believe this assessment? Look at the size of the new “Crime Lab” on Martin Luther King Drive. It's as big as the Native hospital, not quite, but is there that much crime in this state that warrants such a huge facility? That's right, the funding for this facility was approved when all the indictments were coming down the pike upon the “Corrupt Bastard Club” members, the politicians and the Bill Allen pervert following. So it was justified, for that reason. Now what the hell happened to Ben Stevens? What is taking so long for his incarceration? Anyway, the sun's starting to warm things up a bit and soon the tourist trade will be in full swing. I'm starting a new touring company. It will be a historical tour of all the failed projects here in Alaska, and this is like a gift that keeps on giving, because there are more “failures” on the drawing board. The Bill Sheffield port, the bridge, the list goes on and on. I wanted to use the M.V. Susitna for the touring, a diner cruise type of thing, but nobody knows where the hell it is, lost I guess. But Mark assures me he and his staff are on the look-out. See my idea was to use the amphibious assault vessel to wine and dine the tourists while pinpointing the numerous failures and the project's affiliate – the money sponsors – like Don, Ted and Ted and Don. Making sure to leave an understanding that it was taxpayer money wasted. See, non-Alaskans should come here to visit just to see the failed projects they paid for! The failures could fill a book. Oh one last thing before signing off. Besides being the “City of Crime”, Anchorage is also tops on the list for discrimination. A few years back, there came assembly action to ban discrimination in the work place. Jerry Prevo imported imposter's from the valley – dueling banjo Wasillabillys - to take over the assembly, and the ban was banned. So Anchorage is a city that likes to discriminate. Since then, retailers bent on discrimination at the work place are coming too town. See, a boss can fire a gay person for any reason or no reason here in Anchorage, without any legal recourse for the victim. Target, it targets the gays by donating heavily towards political action groups dedicated to discriminatory lobbying legislature efforts. And now Olive Garden is making a move to enter the picture of fast fat food, all at the same mall owned by CIRI, a native corporation. Olive Garden refuses to hire gays. Besides, the food sucks and is an insult to Italians. Their white sauce tastes like “Milk of Magnesia”. And one would think that a Native Corporation – started by U.S. Taxpayers – would be somewhat sympathetic to discrimination, and deny the Targets' and Olives' breathing room on their property. But it is money over civility that matters, especially when CEO bonus time comes around. Sad, as at one time not too long ago this city, this state was on the right track, to never stymie another person's freedoms. The latter is guaranteed in our Constitution. Now though, it is pathetic. Just ask the bike riders! So boycott Target. Boycott Olive Garden. Boycott CIRI for letting filth enter our once clean environment. It's all part of the “Trash Index” that is almost at “TILT”! And a warning to tourists: Don't eat the salmon from the inlet. Besides allowing ungodly amounts of dried dog feces to flow into the runoff water that the fish feed in, now we have the threat of “lead” poisoning from somebody disrupting the soils over at Kincaid, just to build “soccer mom” crap. How much is this failure costing the taxpayers?

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